Book of the Week: He's Just Not That Into You

"Don't be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you."

This week, I thought I'd review a book that I actually got this free in an edition of Glamour a few years ago, but have read numerous times since. I recently picked it up again for a quick peruse, and remembered how much I liked it, so here it is: He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.

This was one of those rare occasions where I saw the movie before I considered reading the book. In fact, I probably wouldn't have read it at all if it wasn't a freebie, but it was sitting on my bedside table and I just threw caution to the wind and got stuck in. It's a very small, chatty book - I read it cover to cover in a couple of hours, and it's more a self help volume that the stories from the film are loosely based on, so don't worry if you've seen the film. It won't take anything away from the book.

Apart from the fact that it's such a quick read, the reason I have picked it up so many times is because it's just so liberating! The gist of the book is that if a man is interested, you won't have to make excuses for him. We're all guilty of it, chatting with our girlfriends about the fact that he's had to cancel your date because he has way too much work to catch up on, or that he's not calling because he wants to play hard to get. Nope, none of that, he's just not that into you. And although it's harsh, once you think about it that way, you waste a lot less time sitting by the phone, and a lot less energy worrying about why he hasn't called you back, and spend more time enjoying yourself with your friends and family and, more to the point, with guys that are into you. Now that's the dream, people. It's so refreshing to think of it from this perspective, and every now and then, when I need to remind myself that he might not like me, but that's alright, because I'm brilliant and someone better will come along, I read this book.

The tome is made up of chapters, all titled 'he's just not that into you if he's not calling you' and the like. Each chapter is then set up in the style of some kind of brutal agony aunt column, with a collection of letters from women with various excuses as to why their men are acting the way they are, each followed by Greg's replies, which all boil down to the fact that the guy is just not that into you. The set up of the book makes it very easy to flick through, and, because there's no storyline, you can just open anywhere and read a page or two. Now, we all know I'm rather partial to a good letter, so this book suits me down to a tee.

As well as this, my favourite fact about the book is that it's actually based on a Sex and the City episode - you know the one where Miranda adopts this as her mantra and feels all the better for it. I'm a huge fan of SATC (I consider myself a Miranda/Carrie hybrid, if you're interested) and you can absolutely tell that it has the same writers. It has all the same witty humour, and the blunt yet optimistic insights into the world of dating, so if you love the TV series, then I guarantee you will love this book.

So there you go. Chuck out your dating guides and get stuck into this baby because, unlike most men, it won't disappoint. I love to read it every now and then to remind myself not to take dating too seriously. Not everyone's going to love you, and you'll probably have to date a few too many toads in your life before you find your prince, but that's OK. Life would be so dull otherwise. And there's always the possibility that you're the exception, not the rule...

Have you read this? Seen the movie? Do you find it refreshing or depressing? Let me know!

S.